RANI - THE QUEEN

 RANI - THE QUEEN

Chalo koi nahi, hneri ayi hai ta meeh v ayega! 

translates to- Don't worry, it only rains after the storm, Your non-punjabi mind may not wrap through this not so popular Idiom, so let me do the honours. 

hneri my friend means storm which refers here to a girl child & meeh which means rain - refers to a boy & this popular phrase, I've heard while growing up in Punjab. Obviously in a Public scenario where it came from a random auntie ji after birth of a baby girl to one of my relative.  

& Don't worry I'm not gonna write a long long blog today about gender inequality and female foeticide as we used to do in school, because seriously has it ever worked?

On the contrary, inspired by my positive mindset spree that I adapted in 2017-2020, where i used to only read positive news, I'm gonna try to applaud the otherwise.

I know many of us unfortunately wouldn't be able to relate to the same, but some of us are privileged enough to understand what I'm trying to convey.

Being a 30 year old, While I was growing up and where I was growing up, Right from the moment a child is conceived, people used to be fearful to say out loud that it may be a girl too and not necessarily the saviour of our linage. However, if in case a girl is born, then you hear-

1. Chalo koi ni, bache ta sare ikko jahe hi hunde.  

2. Haje ta pehla bacha, koi ni agli vaar munda ho jayega!

3. Oh! duji vaar lakshmi ji aye ne, koi ni bcha apni kismat nal le k anda, tusi fikr na krio. 

"It’s okay, all children are the same."

"It’s just the first child, no worries — next time it’ll be a boy!"

"Oh! It’s Goddess Lakshmi again the second time, no problem — every child brings their own destiny, don’t you worry."

 and many more. God forbid if a family member looks really happy on the birth of a girl child, he is frowned upon as if it's because of him, it's a girl.

But let me take you to the other side now, No matter what the society says, there were , there are and there will always be a lot of fathers, who do a li'l mental dance as soon as the doctor announces that it's a girl. 

The father, who is already a die hard fan of this li'l angels' mother and can't wait hold the teeny tiny version of her in his arms.

As soon as he holds her in the corridor of the hospital, he is suddenly a different person.

The father, whose chest swells by an inch when bua ji said, "naak to bilkul teri jaisi hai, iski!"

The father, whose protecter instinct starts increasing exponentially as soon as she makes a li'l frowning face.

& of course there is a mother who has already given all of her, physically, mentally and emotionally to this li'l piece of her heart.

Who has given all of her to the man of his dreams and now they have this cutely breathing proof of their love right in front of their eyes. She must've endured so much pain but it all seems so worth it, now that they have her.

They look at each other and hiding from all the mummy ji's and papa ji's they share this, OMG, we did it moment through their eyes.

Suddenly everything in their life has changed.

The boy who has always bought blacks, browns & blues is suddenly finding differences between hot pink & baby pink pram.

The girl who never cooked is trying to make homemade cerelac for she doesn't want preservatives in her princess's diet.

Don't get me wrong, Parenthood in general is golden. But, the feeling of having a little princess in your home is priceless especially for a father. 

All thanks to the consumerism, you have 23762376 options to choose from & you want just the best for her. You get a reality check from time to time from mysognist news around the world, yet you only want to preserve her in the bubble of your love.

There's always a li'l extra for her!

A li'l more icecream

A li'l more pricey earrings

A li'l more savings for her future

A li'l more pocket money

A li'l or a lot more care!

& then comes a time when she grows up to be your very own amma on her own.

She now reminds the mother to take a li'l more care of herself, she chooses all her outfits. She does her makeup to each and every occasion. They do all the skincare together. 

Even the khadoos papa ji for others is pookie papa for her, he applies the face mask she made with moong dal and rice flour on a random sunday afternoon. 

He sends 10x the asked amount of money for her shopping.

She makes sure she's on constant call with her mamma whenever out of town and papa keeps calling her for her safety. 

Younger bhai asks her money for that new shirt and she makes sure elder bhai and bhabhi receive the yummiest cake on their anniversary!

She is in constant touch with all the cousins and keeps on suggesting fun game ideas for the next get together. 

She bought that marvel merchandise for her chotu bhai without even asking as she knows how crazy he is for ironman.

She orders some more home decor as soon as papa decides to renovate the living room.

People in the house need not worry at all about the li'l nephew's next school project because bua will handle it all.

She remembers all the medicine timings and doctor's appointments and makes sure papa doesn't eat that next gulabjamun.

She gets all teary eyed whenever the thought of leaving them after marriage arises in her mind.

She never wanted to actually, but for the sake of love and spreading love where ever she goes she leaves them all physically and chooses a new home to shower her love to!

Not even in her wildest dreams, she can ever forget the immense amount of love she got from them and she secretly hopes that she's welcomed the same way in the new house as she was welcomed by her own father in that hospital a few years back.

She just hopes that the world is actually like the bubble she was brought up in, a bubble full of love and a li'l more care for her for she was and always will be the RANI- The Queen!

While writing this of course I'm being constantly bombarded by reality and the mysogny our world is filled up with and there have been moments when I'm like dude seriously, who are you selling this fake story to!

But, before you think, she's all Delulu !

Trust me I know that not everybody is not able to relate to it and I'm so sorry for it. I apologise on the behalf of me and millions like me, who have completed 30 revolutions around sun living on this planet, who haven't been able to make the world even a bearable place so that all the queens could live with their head held high adjusting their crowns.

& To all those fathers, brothers, mothers and In Laws, Thank you so much for making all us 30 year olds believe in the power of unconditional love which keeps on inspiring us to be a part of the light that you all are!

Thank you for giving this world these beautiful QUEENS! 

P.S. The picture is GHIBLI recreation of one such pookie, I was fortunate enough to be blessed with!

If you don't like reading, I'm narrating: 

Rooh

Rooh

Soul in english, Aatma in hindi, Rooh in punjabi & urdu. I’m sure we must’ve heard this word at least once in our life. 

When I was in 8th grade, one of my favourite teachers, helped me prepare for inter-school debate competition and she was supposed to take me next day to a far off school in her fancy car. A very soft spoken, extremely gorgeous, super polite woman, I was head over heels her number 1 fan. A day before, she called my mother to the school for the consent and all and while they were discussing about when, how and where the competition was planned, in a room full of other teachers(mostly friends), 

My mother asked(fumbling)," fer ehnu kal without dress hi bhejna?" (Shall i send her without dress tomorrow?)

Ma'am replied," Dress pava dio koi, without uniform bhej dio beshak!" (Please, dress her, you can send her without uniform though!! )with a smirk on her face .

Other teachers smiled a bit, maybe laughing inside.

Mumma got even more nervous and was like sorry,sorry hanji hanji!!

 The conversation ended, just like that!

Me being a 13 year old obviously understood but had, how nice my teacher is glasses on so ignored it completely. As I still remember this incident as a 30 year old woman, I think As much as I'm grateful to my super pretty and super successful teacher for teaching my not so educated, socially awkward homemaker mother about the difference between DRESS & UNIFORM. , i still wonder, "How necessary it was to make fun of her in a room full of independent educated women that she wasn't?"

When I  was a li’l more naive than I’m today, I was a firm believer that there are no bad people in the world, that nobody, absolutely nobody hurts somebody else intentionally.

I used to speak to myself  and say,”nobody would get up one fine day and think of how should I hurt this person or that guy.”  everybody wants to be the best version of themselves and show their absolute best behaviour  and how can we forget them, “karma believers”

DO GOOD, HAVE GOOD.

So the 23 year old  a lot more stupid girl, always tried to be in other people’s shoes and think of  why they had to do what they did and irrespective of the hurt caused to myself, I used to think better and be the bigger person assuming the other person can never, not even in their wildest dreams can hurt me intentionally.

But bubbles my friend , are meant to be burst.  I grew older(bloody 30)  &  obviously not one fine day but gradually, with a hell lot of experiences (ranked as bad,worse and some really worst), I felt, Dude please chill!!

I screamed at myself, “”oh dear Tulsi virani, open your damn eyes , bad people exist!

People that get up one day and think about ways in which they can hurt other people.

• Can you recall that one relative from your father’s side, who used to deliberately insult your mother’s looks in a room full of guests.
• That distant extremely rich uncle who  made fun of your father’s poverty  by mocking his old scooter and  marked it as merely a joke!
• The cousin from convent school who made fun of your bad pronunciation because you are from a public one.
• The manager who always made sure to insult you in every possible meeting.
• The colleague who always undermines your contribution  and  boasts about his excellence all the time.
• That uncle from the neighbourhood , who knows that you couldn’t crack IIT but still asked your father in the  colony meeting about your Rank.
• The guy/girl who said, “ I love you” without 0.5% intention of proving it.
• Your so called first love who went off with some other guy because he earned more than you or was Living abroad.
  
  
  
• The long term soulmate who put the sindoor in somebody else’s hair just because she was richer/prettier or “abba nahi manenge” factor. (#let's keep it secular).
• That mami/chachi who asked your mother about,”when is your daughter/son getting married shortly after mentioning their age?”
• The mother of 2, cousin asking about your failed IVF  Treatment.
• The mother of  a son, asking if you are planning for another pregnancy after the birth of your second daughter.
• The sasu maa who makes fun of  your height/ weight or caste in front of all relatives because you don’t belong to the community she wanted her daughter to marry.

 And the list is endless……..

Feeling frustrated, angry , humiliated , yet?????

Don’t worry, I’m not gonna give some gyan on how we should ignore the negativity and focus on all the positive people , bleh and bluh and blah!!!!!!

Today, I won’t be Tulsi Virani for a moment.

Life gives you moment when you so want to be the kamolika. 

Like how dare he!

How dare she!

I’ll kill them all!

Why do I have to be the bigger person, how can someone be so evil!

But, Baby, Some people are Evil. PERIOD

Are they like this with you or you have done something to instigate them or what made them do this?
#Koi to majboori rahi hogi!!

As in they must be under some obligation.

On and on and on 

You know what, I don’t care !

You hurt me, you hurt me real bad . & howsoever obligated you must’ve been. I’m miserable because of you.

Not that you care or not that I care if you care or not!

Your words, your actions and your decisions made me go through hell and may be I’m still there or I may never come out of this hell and you’re the reason. 

Letting out helps, probably!

But, that whats more thought provoking is when we(yes, we)do these horrible horrible things, does our conscious allow us, Why we don’t feel pukish? Why we don’t consider for one micro second that how hurtful this will be for the concerned person!

Why the pure soul with which we started this journey called life just not comes out of our body and says, “THIS IS NOT ME! ”

Or may be it does and we do that anyway!

P.S. The drawing is me from this morning when I thought some real bad things about someone and then took a pause for a moment, felt like my pure soul is out of my body right now and said to myself, This is not me! & I DID IT ANYWAY!

Yes, I'm angry today, angry at my favourite teacher, angry at all those uncle/aunties/cousins/bfs/gfs/husbands/wives and sometimes our own children who make us cry to sleep, angry at the bully I was in school/college/university and angry at myself for cursing someone so bad this morning.

Also, I draw, not so well though! @ehsaasunleashed on Instagram