Mujhe nahi khelna yaar!

 Mujhe nahi khelna, yaar!

means, "I won't play!" We're probably the last lucky generation to have the  memory of playing in the street or colony with our neighbours' kids- our childhood friends. Can you recall a bunch of children playing in the colony and suddenly one of them storms out of the group, throwing their bat/basketball/skates aside and yelling, "yaar, mujhe nahi khelna!!" 

I'm going. 

I'm going home because I'm tired.

I'm going because maybe I'm not good enough.

I'm going because maybe you're not fair to me.

I'm going because maybe nobody is fair to me.

I'm going because maybe I want you to convince me to play again.

I'm going because I wanna complain about this to my mother and then she'll teach you how to treat me better. 

Being a 30 year old #Responsible,

when life treats you badly, when you think you're not good enough, when you're losing everything(except weight), when you feel like a failure already, your inner child yells loud yet silently, "yaar, mujhe nahi khelna". 

When you're the first one to submit the office assignment that you completed after pulling an all nighter but nobody in the office recognises that. Instead, you're frowned upon for yawning in the meeting, next day.

When you spent chunks on gifting your cousin his/her favourite limited edition watch and yet he ignored you in front of other relatives at his/her birthday party.

When you worked really hard to excel in your competitive exam but despite your constant efforts, your scores are not propelling in the mock test at all.

When you're always kind to elderly people around you(unlike others), even strangers and still a random uncle yells at you excessively in the park for not following the right lane.

 

When you go out of your way to meet your bestest friend after years and yet you make a fool of yourself when you feel you don't hold that special place in their heart anymore.

Have you ever seen A friend/person around you, who after days of strict diet and being regular at gym orders a huge cheese burst farmhouse for himself suddenly?

Have you ever observed the most lively student in a class suddenly goes silent one day and doesn't participate in any discussion?

Have you ever seen the person who cooks new innovative dishes everyday, one day just starts being really mainstream about the dishes and sticks to the boring dal-chawal only ?

Have you ever felt that you don't wanna get up from your bed on a Monday Morning, because you're too tired to get up again today to not feel enough.

Because no matter what you do, It's never enough. 

You don't have enough wisdom, you don't have enough money, you're not as well behaved as you should be according to people around you, You're not pretty enough. You're not cool enough as genZ-s and you're not rich enough as those boomers.

So you just stay in that bed for another 5 minutes and yell so loudly in your mind, "MUJHE NAHI KHELNA!!!"

Solution: Like most of the 30 Revolutions around the Sun problems, there is no solution. You're a human. maybe a 30 year old pseudo responsible one, but still just another organism of this species who is trying to survive, just make through another day without more messing it up.

I'm not consoling, you must've messed up big time or maybe you did nothing wrong, The world is actually unfair to you. What you can do right now is "Let it be" 

Get up, do your work and let another day just pass. Yes, everybody is unfair with you and No, you can't complain to your mother about it! So, let it go, let it be, Tomorrow may be better or Day after tomorrow may be, till then, "The show must go on!"

P.S. The picture is of  Odiyur lake, on the way from Pondi to Chennai, when after a setback in life, I planned a random trip(One of My Toxic Trait) after I said to myself, "Mujhe nahi khelna, yaar!"

If you don't like reading, I'm narrating: