Kya, hum sab barabar hai?

Kya, hum sab barabar hai?

means, Are we all equal?  In almost all my writings until today, I've said this a thousand times: we're all the same. But today, I'm asking a slightly different question, Are we all equal? 

Equality in terms of genetics, in terms of value systems, in terms of looks, lifestyle, finances, our background, the geographical location we were born in, Cities we moved, friend circles we had and on and on and on!!!!!!!!

The answer is obviously, No!!! 

Not only in India, but the whole world thrives on diversity at its peak. 

I have always been an extrovert and throughout my life I've met lot many people and unlike someone more sensible, I'm like the uncle your father met in the train who wanted to know everything about your family, In short, when I'm in the mood(mostly on vacations), I'm the curious cat!!

I read somewhere that when you tell somebody about yourself or share an incident about your life, a piece of their soul remains with you and no matter how far you go from each other, your souls are somehow intertwined for the rest of your lives. 

So, I (and I'm sure most of us) have been lucky enough to come across a-lot of people in our lives and their souls, stories and experiences are interwoven somewhere in our thoughts and listening to their stories we must feel how different their experiences might have been from us. The world that we've seen doesn't look the same to all of us.

If you think that's a really serious conversation going on, then Pyare (My dear) Millennials, let me quote Zakir Bhai, 

"Bhai aya hai, bta k jayega!!"

translates to let me break it for you!

Can you recall the modernised look you saw on your teacher in childhood the hairstyle she had, the type of beautiful clothes she usually wore and you compared her with your mother of almost same age and the tired look she has on her face almost always.

Do you remember, the Beautiful car your friend was able to buy in the very first year of his job having the same salary as yours because he didn't have to pay rent and contribute to his family.

Can you recall, how your cousin who lives in a village in a hilly area told you about he used to walk 30 minutes uphill to even go to school while you commute on a two-wheeler to the park for morning walk living in a city throughout your life.

Can you remember a friend, who has never seen a McDonald's until later in his life because his family never allowed junk throughout the childhood.

Can you recall some colleague who told you She never knew how it feels to be picked up or dropped off from school/college or office because She didn't have a father or a brother to do so throughout her life.(which is so normal in any small town in India.)

Can you recall some friend of yours who told you hesitantly that he/she has never travelled alone in a bus or taxi because they were never allowed to do so and you did it when you were in 4th standard.

Can you recall some friend of yours who asked you privately, have you ever seen a dead body?, I've never and you start shivering because you saw your loved one go, when you were 10.

Question is still there, Kya, hum sab barabar hai?

Answer: NO, for the 1000th time. 

Question: But what impact it has on our present lives? 

Answer:  A hell lot of impact.

It makes us who we're and it may impact who we become in future and it make impact the human being we may create in the future(If any). However, it also MAY NOT.

One of my cousins narrated an incident to me when she advised someone, 

"k 30 tak jo v hunda ode ch asi kuch nhi kar skde oh sade nal hunda, kyunki asi bahut chote hune aa, par is to baad jo v life ch karna oh tu aap karna, tu decide krna teri life kidhar jaani hai hun!!"

Translates to "Before 30, whatever happened to you was beyond your control as you were just a kid, but after 30 you're very well capable of making your own destiny, you'll have to decide where do you want your life to go?!

This line has been a part of my thought process since that very day and that is why I chose it to be a part of 30 Revolutions Around the Sun. 

We all have been built from many different experiences, backgrounds and childhoods but now we are these 30 year olds who feel  the same feelings almost everyday and we'll take ourselves through this beautiful journey called life and will create experiences for people around us and people who may come from us in future. Can we try to make it a pleasent place for others? Can we see our younger selves in the people around us and try to make their day by a little gestures that we would have been astonished if someone did it for us at that time? 

Let's talk about it some other day!!

P.S. The picture is from Kashi, 2023. I went there with my 58 year old mother and we met a woman of almost same age as that of my mother, who came all the way from Mauritius and while talking to her, I got to know how she solo travels to India almost every year and how fond she is of her travels despite having 3 adult children back there & it made me wonder, Kya, hum sab barabar hai?

If you don't like reading, I'm narrating :

Mujhe nahi khelna yaar!

 Mujhe nahi khelna, yaar!

means, "I won't play!" We're probably the last lucky generation to have the  memory of playing in the street or colony with our neighbours' kids- our childhood friends. Can you recall a bunch of children playing in the colony and suddenly one of them storms out of the group, throwing their bat/basketball/skates aside and yelling, "yaar, mujhe nahi khelna!!" 

I'm going. 

I'm going home because I'm tired.

I'm going because maybe I'm not good enough.

I'm going because maybe you're not fair to me.

I'm going because maybe nobody is fair to me.

I'm going because maybe I want you to convince me to play again.

I'm going because I wanna complain about this to my mother and then she'll teach you how to treat me better. 

Being a 30 year old #Responsible,

when life treats you badly, when you think you're not good enough, when you're losing everything(except weight), when you feel like a failure already, your inner child yells loud yet silently, "yaar, mujhe nahi khelna". 

When you're the first one to submit the office assignment that you completed after pulling an all nighter but nobody in the office recognises that. Instead, you're frowned upon for yawning in the meeting, next day.

When you spent chunks on gifting your cousin his/her favourite limited edition watch and yet he ignored you in front of other relatives at his/her birthday party.

When you worked really hard to excel in your competitive exam but despite your constant efforts, your scores are not propelling in the mock test at all.

When you're always kind to elderly people around you(unlike others), even strangers and still a random uncle yells at you excessively in the park for not following the right lane.

 

When you go out of your way to meet your bestest friend after years and yet you make a fool of yourself when you feel you don't hold that special place in their heart anymore.

Have you ever seen A friend/person around you, who after days of strict diet and being regular at gym orders a huge cheese burst farmhouse for himself suddenly?

Have you ever observed the most lively student in a class suddenly goes silent one day and doesn't participate in any discussion?

Have you ever seen the person who cooks new innovative dishes everyday, one day just starts being really mainstream about the dishes and sticks to the boring dal-chawal only ?

Have you ever felt that you don't wanna get up from your bed on a Monday Morning, because you're too tired to get up again today to not feel enough.

Because no matter what you do, It's never enough. 

You don't have enough wisdom, you don't have enough money, you're not as well behaved as you should be according to people around you, You're not pretty enough. You're not cool enough as genZ-s and you're not rich enough as those boomers.

So you just stay in that bed for another 5 minutes and yell so loudly in your mind, "MUJHE NAHI KHELNA!!!"

Solution: Like most of the 30 Revolutions around the Sun problems, there is no solution. You're a human. maybe a 30 year old pseudo responsible one, but still just another organism of this species who is trying to survive, just make through another day without more messing it up.

I'm not consoling, you must've messed up big time or maybe you did nothing wrong, The world is actually unfair to you. What you can do right now is "Let it be" 

Get up, do your work and let another day just pass. Yes, everybody is unfair with you and No, you can't complain to your mother about it! So, let it go, let it be, Tomorrow may be better or Day after tomorrow may be, till then, "The show must go on!"

P.S. The picture is of  Odiyur lake, on the way from Pondi to Chennai, when after a setback in life, I planned a random trip(One of My Toxic Trait) after I said to myself, "Mujhe nahi khelna, yaar!"

If you don't like reading, I'm narrating:

Aj kya banau?

 Aj kya banau?

What should I cook for you, today?

This question may have troubled many of us during our teenage phase(good old days) or may still be troubling some lucky ones!

Ok, Make chana rice, but you have to soak them overnight!

Then make Matar Paneer, but we need more paneer!

Then make Gajar matar, but there aren't any  good quality carrots in the market right now!

Ok, Then, make curry rice-- we just had rice yesterday!!!

ufff

Sounds familiar?

There are N number of memes made on it as well,

 This is the conversation I had this morning with my mother after she said,"I wanna ask you something very important; please answer me that -- Aj kya banau?"

 Now, you may be the one asking these questions or you may be the one answering these questions to people around you, but This question spares none!

Being a 30 year old #Responsible, 

Some of us are now cooking for themselves,Some are getting annoyed by our beloved house help (one of the many reasons people wanna stay in  India), Some are ordering out everyday(remember those annoyed faces scrolling Zomato), 

Some, after getting frustrated, are on strict diet of boiled veggies, eggs, or something really simple to cook. And some really lucky ones are still finding faults -- "why has mumma made lauki today?!"

But think of it, you order out almost everyday and one day your neighbour/landlord aunty says, Beta I've made biryani, Please try. You get really excited and the moment you taste that, you remember It's nothing like how your mom makes it!!!

Your mother-in-law makes her special Rajma chawal, which her  son/daughter eats like it's heaven!, But when you taste it, you suddenly remember how your mother never puts chunks of ginger in it--because you don't like it!

Your colleague makes the yummiest paneer bhurji and everybody in the office is astonished by the amritsari recipe, but it's too spicy for you because he/she doesn't know that you don't eat green chilli.

You are tired of eating the so-called "Ghar ka khana" (home-cooked food) your mom or dad makes for you, but the moment you're away on a trip for a week, you realize just how much you miss that dal/chawal.

"Food—another 'F' word, my friend—is an emotion."

I can't speak for everyone, but most of us are now on the other side of the bridge, missing one, two, or even many dishes we once ate in a certain way. The dishes that our mum used to make or our dad used to bake or that YouTube recipe your 'badi didi' (elder sister) perfected & our mouths are watering just thinking about it! 

If you feel the same, you know that it's a part of being the Grown-Up you once badly wanted to be! 

Solution: It's not a problem at all, buddy-- it's just change, the ultimate truth of life. What we can do right now is reminding our most favourite chef/chefs, how much we love their specialities that are a precious part of  our core memory!

And if you're that chef for someone, take a bow—because you've made someone feel loved! And that is the biggest deal."

P.S. The picture is from my trip last year to Koh Chang, Thailand, where, as a vegetarian, I survived on bread, butter, chips, and Nutella for lunch --sitting in the last seat of our bus—while missing my most special chef, with whom I had the ultimate food conversation this morning."

If you don't like reading, I'm narrating! -

Nahi hua toh?

 Nahi hua toh?

As in What if, it doesn't workout? 

What if, I couldn't secure first position in 8th standard?  

What if, I didn't get admission to my favourite university?

What if, I couldn't perform well in my academics?

What if, I had to be unemployed for some time after college?

What if, My visa isn't approved?

What if, I couldn't do well at work?

What if, I couldn't crack that govt. exam?

What if, my company fires me?

What if, my health deteriorated?  

What if, I end up alone?

What if, I get bed ridden before I go?

Depressing !!!!!

I know.

Relatable ? 

MAYBE!!

I read somewhere that 

"Children & geniuses do not doubt themselves."

 It's us the average minded so called grownups, who do that to ourselves. every second, every minute, every phase of our life.

Don't get me wrong, we know we are capable enough, we know we have chosen something really obviously easy or extremely difficult & we know practically the exact amount of chances we have in being successful. But, still there is this voice inside our head, which always says, What is the Plan B? What if it doesn't workout? Nahi hua toh?

 

What are we most scared of, The F word.

"Failure" 

It can be as brutal as telling the whole society that you're still unemployed in your 30s or as subtle as I gained another kg after eating that piece of cake. It can be physical or psychological, but it gives us chills to our spine.  

Solution: NONE

Don't mess with yourself, you already know the answer. 

It may or may not work out. Your visa may be rejected, you may end up in all those scenarios, you never want. 

However, My friend, It may get accepted also. You may secure that 1st rank,You may become that IAS/IPS/President you want to be (Please don't ask me how, I took science😂).You may bag the most good looking bride/groom in your friend circle(& brag about it for precisely 1.5 years of your marriage🙄)& You may also become your healthiest version really soon. 

What I'm saying today is, even if it doesn't workout, You my friend are the most amazing, most capable, beautiful person who can handle everything & come out of it with flying colours. 

Think of it, you were this messy little child who used assistance in going to the loo also & now you're teaching people how to use the appropriate spoon in a fine dining restaurant. 

You have done a lot many things and You will do the rest of them as well.

Aur nahi hua toh? 

Kuch aur ho jayega, yaar!!!!

What if, It doesn't workout?

Something else will, my friend!!!

P.S. I got this enlightenment(I'm guilty of it myself), a few days ago only from a mental health professional & somehow these lines stuck with me, I forget this at times & try to remind me the same whenever.

About the picture, It's from Karol bagh metro station, Delhi where I come across a lot of Exam aspirants almost every time, I visit and their hard work & dedication inspires me to overcome my tiny hurdles as well. Also, flaunting my freshly done nails 🧿💅😂 

#we're all the same.

If you don't like reading, I'm narrating: 

Mujhe ghar jana hai!

Means "I wanna go home". One day, i was on an evening out with my 3 year old niece and as soon as she looked out of the car window, she said, 

"Pia massi, kitni raat ho gayi hai, chalo jaldi ghar chlte hai ! "

means, it's getting dark, let's go home. I thought, how even a 3 year old, completely naive child knows that whenever life gets dark, we head home.

Home gives us the comfort, the security, the feeling that we'll be taken care of no matter what!

But, does the meaning of home remain same for us throughout our life. Sadly, NO !

Now this may vary for all of us depending on the type of life we're leading with or our professional and personal lives but, the feeling remains same.

You may be a student leaving for studies to a different city, sometimes a different country!

You may be a person leaving to live the metro city life for your golden job!

You may have just cracked a great Govt. job & now leaving for your remote posting!

You may be a man/woman who has to change his/her hometown due to marriage commitments!

However golden or exciting the new city may be, we can never get over that house we leave behind!

Initially you feel that Konkana sen sharma vibe from wake up Sid, you pack your bags and think that you'd be painting them walls yellow with a really hot guy,

but as soon as you reach the new city and Your people leave, reality strikes! 

there are no yellow walls, there is no Big shot's hot son (or daughter in some cases), it's somebody else's already painted walls, already decorated(only if you're lucky or a little bit rich) and you're just living there.

You're living there, leaving your own "Ghar"! 

That very house which took years to build with a lot of family discussions about what colour will be the chosen for the drawing room wall or which room will have the largest TV screen, or which sibling will get a personal room(only if possible!). You leave all that and come to a completely new ghar, may be a new city, may be a new country! 

You try to add those personal touches almost all the time, girls may do it by buying those fairy lights & guys by keeping their clothes on the floor, but who are you kidding bro, this is not your Ghar!

& the even worse part, The place you left will never be the same as well !

But let's keep that discussion for some other day!

For today, let's just cherish the nostalgia of our own Ghar, in which we grew up to be the beautiful person we all know we're! 

P.S.-  About the picture, From 2018, I'm that fairy light girl, who decorated her room in Delhi, to make it feel like "Ghar".

If you don't like reading, I'm narrating!:

Kal se pakka!

"Kal se pakka!"

Means from tomorrow for sure! Sounds familiar? 

Let's imagine, you hit your head at your pillow around 11 and suddenly you remember, 

Oh I didn't pay that phone or electricity bill I needed to pay today only, 

It was my cousin's birthday and I forgot to wish him/her,    

What about the leave application i needed to submit for next week in the office, 

I'm thinking to be more mindful towards my responsibilities,

Did I spend enough time with my parents today?

Does my husband/wife/partner think I'm putting equal efforts in the relationship? 

Am i focussing enough on my health? Why did I eat that rasmalai, today?

Oh my god, Am i overthinking again? yesterday only, I read the post on Instagram about how bad overthinking is for my mental health?

Is there even something like mental health? or just a rich people thing?

Oh, Am i one of those Rich people now?

But my finances suck!!!! But, I also read on Insta or some book that you should be grateful for whatever you have?

Oh, does that mean I'm not grateful enough?

Hey Bhagwan, leave all this!!!!, So jata/jati hu! 

means let's just sleep or else sleep cycle will be ruined (as if not already) 

KAL SE PAKKA (Tomorrow for sure)!

I'll do everything a li'l bit better tomorrow. a little more disciplined, a little better son/daughter, a little better partner, a little more responsible 30 year old!

P.S. The picture is from my Beautiful Bedside, Some flowers, some chocolates, some tissues(I don't cry, maybe you do),water(for appropriate water intake) aka Kal se pakka!

#Not offering solutions today #Just being there #Us bro Us 😶‍🌫️ 

If you don't like reading, I'm narrating!:

Ab tum bade ho gaye ho!

Means You're a grown up now. Stop acting childish! The point is when to stop acting childish? Let me quote Zakir bhai from "kaksha gyaravi" 

"Mr. Khan you're in 5th standard, You're almost an adult" 

was said to him by his school teacher(in that monologue at least). I'm sure this must have been said to many of us at different times in  life by our loved ones. 

Like for me, when her 30 year 2 month old daughter insisted on buying two overpriced Stitch toys, My mother said after facepalming🤦‍♀️ that "pta nhi kado vaddi hona tu?" means god knows when you'll grow up!

It felt cute, that She thinks I'm a kid at that time. But, is it? Not everybody thinks like that! 

& the strange part is once you complete your 30th revolution around sun, at times even you don't think like that. You somehow have this self proclaimed huge responsibility on your shoulders that you have to live life in a certain way. You want to sound, walk and even talk like a grownup man/woman. Basically you've taken life so seriously for the time that you really want people to take you seriously, now! 

Don't worry, I'm skipping the insecurities and failures as of now that we come across in this phase (for today). 

FOR TODAY, 

Just a discussion of the thought that one day while you were partying hard & clicking the perfect picture of your most fun 30th birthday for your perfect Instagram post, some lightning struck you and now you're the responsible adult who freaks out because of that water ring just formed on the table due to that cold drink.

Have you been through the same?

Have you ever thought about it?

or Are you long past gone from that phase, already?

Enlighten me in the comments section💡

P.S. About the picture, An hour after buying those OG overpriced stitch toys from Global village!

 Aj kal blog kon padhta hai?

Means who reads blogs these days, before you start thinking that someone tried to demotivate me in my new venture(all about feels) let me correct you again. we 30 year olds we don't need anyone in our life to demotivate us, we do that on our own. 

We have 30 plans, 300 ways to execute them , 0.5 will power to do that, 0.25 funds to support that(just exclude your papa ka paisa Ramesh!) and 0 time from our busy schedules. However, we try to get up everyday and fall miserably, sleep for upcoming 4 weekends, see Instagram, get jealous and try again.

So, of course I felt the same, asked a really close friend! IYKYK(for millennials, if you know you know). Be ready for  our personal chat screenshot! 🥁🥁🥁

52.2% 

this number made me question my choice in friends! (I still love them though)

So, I didn't waste time at all and whatever was available in 0 cost. I went for it!

Did i think about vlogging? So guys, I did. for sure. One I'm PUNJABI(half), two I took science(too mainstream) & three I wasn't ready for "Pandit ji ki beti ne vlog bnane shuru krdiye hai?" & Please don't get me or any Red zone BMI person started on the desirable body image, so That's it for now. 

So, if you are not a reader (like a lot of my friends), Try it bro! Because you're also part of that millennial or GenZ or boomer community pretending to be inspired by successful influencers irrespective of our age, geography or history.

Giving you another FOMO (millennials, Fear of missing out) 

Quoting Zakir Bhai, "Bhai aya hai, sikha k jayega"

P.S. The picture is from 2021 clicked at Oxford book store, CP, Delhi around Christmas. I was more sane, having a way better BMI & I wasn't 30🥹

  

Why God Why?

So, It all started When I realised that thinking "ab to didi ki umar hogayi hai" which means That lady has become old now was wrong on so many levels whenever as a teenager, I came across other 30 year olds.

That didi and that bhaiya, my friend were not old. 

But you will not realise that until you become that very didi & bhaiya. 

Don't take me wrong, I'm not saying that it just happens on the very day. NOT AT ALL.

Like a little monster in those horror Hollywood movies (you used to watch on CDs or by downloading with 20MB data) the thought of becoming a 30 year old creeps in your bed every night since you enter your twenties.

In early 20s, you're like "MILES TO GO BEFORE I FREAK" and voila !

one day you're 25 & la la la la la. It's coming Annabelle!

Anyways! before you think It's just another 30 year old ranting about her age, let me clarify my friend.

YES, I'm ranting about it. 😂 & I'm gonna take you through this incredible, beautiful and horrifying journey with me. we're gonna look at some perspectives, support each other, correct each other & at the end of the day try to be there for each other.

I HOPE THIS FEELS LIKE A HUG to all the beautiful inside outs i could connect to!

P.S. About the picture, it's the 30th B'day cake i ordered for myself & the background is a vinyl poster I tried on my bedside for the feels of F.R.I.E.N.D.S as a huge 30 year old fan featuring A beautiful wooden frame customised from Morjim beach,Goa.